We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
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I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
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Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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