I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
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I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
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GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.