I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
