White coat. Heels.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
