like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
