but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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