STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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