wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
