Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
