I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
People in love make me want to vomit
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
