i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
