I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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