You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
