I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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