this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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