Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Two words: nipple clamps
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
