brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
