She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
