i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
