Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
