dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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