And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
