I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize