Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
