the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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