He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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