They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
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asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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