Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
