After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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