VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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