I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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