Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
