Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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