So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
