you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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