I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
