i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
