They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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