So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i drank out of a bidet.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
