whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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