Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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