it was like his penis was on wheels.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
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What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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