what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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