Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
