I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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