Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
