If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
