just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
