nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
