I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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