mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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