All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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