you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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