my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
