we're blogging at a bar
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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