hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
