Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
