sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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