i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
